Be ambitious about life (not just work)
This post is a collaboration with Amber Johnson, PhD, an incredible strategy advisor, leadership coach, and author of Better Than Fine, dedicated to practical insights for improving communication so you can be a better leader, partner, and parent.
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We tend to define ambition in terms of promotions, prestige, and income. In the U.S., that’s the kind of ambition we’re taught to admire and chase.
But what if that’s just one version of ambition? And what if we have it wrong?
As writer Anne Helen Petersen points out in her work on burnout culture, we've narrowed our understanding of ambition to a dangerously limited scope. We’ve tied our self-worth to professional progress, turning work into a metric of identity. We’ve believed the lie that success at work is success as a person.
The problem with that is this: if work is the only place we’re allowed to be ambitious, then everything else—relationships, health, creativity, rest—becomes secondary. Or worse, indulgent.
What else could ambition look like?
It could mean…
…finally learning to make that Mediterranean dish.
…organizing a community garden or throwing that packet of seeds on a pile of soil.
…helping your neighbors out in small but consistent ways.
…setting boundaries so you have enough energy for your kids at the end of the day.
…taking a class just because it sounds fun.
…quitting being a human brand like Emily McDowell.
These ambitions aren’t lesser. They’re just less visible in a culture that worships productivity and performance. In many places outside the U.S., ambition is measured as much by the quality of life as it is by career milestones.
In her book The Year of Living Danishly, journalist Helen Russell recounts the contrast of the relentless work ethic she left behind in London to that of Denmark when her partner accepted a job at LEGO. In Danish work culture, leaving the office by 4 or 5pm is typical, and if you stay late at work, your boss might see it as a sign you’re struggling with your job and not your dedication. 😳😳😳
Yes, time and money constraints are real. But they’re not always permanent. And once we broaden our definition of ambition, a more meaningful life becomes possible.
When everything becomes a project
We don’t dream anymore—we optimize.
We’ve all seen how quickly something fun can become another pressure point. “Writing regularly” becomes “writing a bestselling novel.” Wanting to host a small dinner party becomes needing to have a fully renovated kitchen first.
The pressure to make everything count can paralyze us. And we save our “bucket list goals” for retirement - that elusive time in the future when we will magically have more time, energy, and disposable income. The real tragedy is never getting around to any of these things at all.
Ambition doesn’t always have to scale. It doesn’t need a five-year plan. You can let it be small. Let it be your kind of weird. Let it be just for you.
If work isn’t everything… then what is?
It’s not easy to shift focus from work to life when we’ve spent years being rewarded for professional achievement. But it’s worth practicing.
Here are a few prompts to help you reconnect with the parts of your life that may be asking for your ambition:
What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn—but never made time for?
What dream or desire have you been deferring until “later”?
If no one could see or applaud what you were doing, what would you still want to do?
What would your 80-year-old self thank you for starting now?
A client’s reminder: this is not real life
One of Lindsey’s clients keeps a sticky note on her desk that reads: “This is not real life.”
She doesn’t mean her job is fake. It’s a reminder that her job is a tool that serves her real ambition - the coastal home she and her partner are slowly building together. That’s what drives her.
Keeping that perspective front and center helps her get through tough work days without spiraling into disillusionment or burnout. The job is a means to an end—not the end itself.
You don’t have to quit your job to change your life
This kind of reflection can lead to restlessness. Maybe you realize that your job is crowding out everything else. Maybe you're tempted to blow it all up and start over.
Here’s a more sustainable approach: start small.
In our last post (link), we talked about how to fix the job you have. And that includes reclaiming your time and energy when you’re not at work.
Maybe you scale back on late-night emails. Maybe you plan for someone else to watch the kids so you can take an hour for yourself to do something that feeds you. Maybe you say no to that “stretch project” or the promotion (because it could make life worse, not better).
In fact, people often find that when they do this—when they start painting again, or traveling again, or deepening friendships—they feel more grounded while at work. Note: this is a side benefit, not the intention.
So where do you want to grow?
Being ambitious about life means choosing growth that serves your whole self—not just your resume.
It’s not about slacking off or “quiet quitting.” It’s about taking your energy and applying it to the things that will actually matter in the long run.
So yes, keep working hard if your job matters to you. Keep stretching. Keep learning. But remember: your ambition is a resource. Where you spend it shapes your life.
